Love this because it mirrors some of my own thoughts i've had; your writing reminds me of some other things i've written on this subject.
i suggest "anything to get away" for a title because that seems to be the overall theme--trying to escape everything that pains you and causes you confusion since nothing can be done to fix it.
feeling powerless, you try to relieve it by forgetting, experimenting, etc. The world has lost its clarity and charm for you and it's easier to believe that nothing means anything than to try to make the problems fit into the perfect idea you had formulated as a child; then you can abandon yourself to doing whatever it takes to forget; by keeping yourself busy and/or under the influence of something, you seek to drown out that record playing on repeat in your head. and if you disguise all of this in the name of fun, you can hide the suffering you are going through.
the imagery is great, it perfectly conveys the desperation you feel in this situation. i'm a fan of writing in this form too: the fragmentory phrases reflect the way that thoughts go through your head; it is like a window into how you are feeling broken and realizing that the illusions the world creates is not reality for you. it's kind of like purging too--all of these words are pouring out as if to find relief and purification in their escape from inside of you. in this way, your poem is itself something you do to get away from your pain.

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Wherever you go, there you are!

I'm sorry this took me some time to reply, but i've been debating what exactly i should say in responce to this. quite frankly i was a bit upset, not at anything you said mind you but when you said 'you seek to drown out that record playing on repeat in your head. and if you disguise all of this in the name of fun, you can hide the suffering you are going through.' and it just got to me because you're someone who doesn't even know the 1st thing about me and countless of my friends have known me for years. and most of them have read this poem and to know you picked up all that by reading between the lines and my friends couldnt even notice that upset me a little. thank you for your praise on these last pieces it does mean a lot. and the fact that you actually critique it means a lot. insted of saying oh i like this. as i've said before. i dont take the time i should on my poems and i dont really think at all, it's just what ever sounds good. what ever mood i'm in how ever i feel it should sound like. i have a distinct voice in my head how i want each of them read and i have no clue if they anyone besides me would like them, but i'm not going to pretend to be anything i'm not and i'm not gonna sit here saying that i take grest time in crafting the perfect poems when i just dont. i'm not gonna pretend because once i do that you know i'm a fake and you know my writing is fake also. so thats why i'm always straight up with everything. so thank you again. your words means a lot.
♥'s as always
Stephanie

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3 years. I haven't forgotten. I can't even if i want to. I love him. I miss him. Things change over time. Time changes things. But no matter how much time will past...I will never forget him.
R.I.P
Jeff Miller

i'm sorry i indirectly made you upset. it's just that i've felt the same way, though from slightly different circumstances.
also i appreciate your honesty about the time you spend on your poems. i think they're better that way. their very spontaneity creates a more accurate presentation of what you feel. even if you don't know what it means when you write it, you will some time discover that it makes perfect sense when you look back on it. whatever you think 'sounds good' is the most honest portrayal of yourself and your feelings.
so i guess i'm saying i definitely don't think you're fake or anything like that!

lindsay

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Wherever you go, there you are!

I’m glad you don’t think of me as a fake that’s a very good thing. Lolz. I guess what I was trying to say was this is who I am and some people like it and others just don’t and that’s alright. Writing is a very personal thing to me and it is a thing that I don’t often let people see so me making this DA means a lot because writing is like a piece of you. And giving people a chance to diss a part of you isn’t what most people want. In no way was it you that made me upset, I was just frustrated and that happens, but I’m not like ugh anymore. So anyways thank you again, its people like you that make me want to write more

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3 years. I haven't forgotten. I can't even if i want to. I love him. I miss him. Things change over time. Time changes things. But no matter how much time will past...I will never forget him.
R.I.P
Jeff Miller